pubertard

29Nov07

“the knowledge that you exist is a burden to my soul!” – Aram
there is a time in each man’s life nope, too long. ok, short: i’ve bloody hit puberty!

yes, i most definitely have. the sad thing about it, it’s that it’s 3-4 years late… let’s see, we are all somewhat math people, right?! ok, here’s a simple one:
puberty = pimple face + social awkwardness + hormonal rage + thinking “superheroes get their powers around this age, right?!”

ok, checklist:
pimple face – let’s resume this one to: check, goddammit…
social awkwardness – ah, this one is beautiful! besides the usual speaking to myself in public places (i don’t speak out loud, but i sure am using mimics a lot), new symptoms have taken the stage. a month ago, woke up in a hurry (not a morning person, no, no), showered, got dressed, shit! i forgot to pee (not a public toilet person either), went, got to school, engaged in the ordinary morning conversations on geek stuff with a teacher, browsed around the class for people to entertain (i am quite the comedian/ philanthropist ), spoke to some, shit!!!!! my fly is open! half a day it took me to figure that one out. imagine trying to speak seriously with a teacher while standing in front of him with your hands in your pocket (imagine and you’ll see why this seemingly unimportant detail is huge!) goddammit… no, not checked yet. few weeks ago, got up, showered, plugged my iPod, went half asleep to school listening to The Kooks, fell on the ice on my knees, praying on “jackie big tits” that no one had seen me. right in front of the school. now wtf? i’m not going home, no way. went inside the class. some weird looks, but quite not surprised (it’s times like these i’m happy i dress like a bum each day). the teacher looks and gives me a smile “dressing smart again, ha?” haha, yes. ok, checked. there would be more, but i’m getting tired myself.
up next, hormonal rage – mmm… even in highschool, when this was supposed to keep me awake trying to mate, it hasn’t. i guess my brain is ataraxic at some levels… good ones.
last one – well, correct me if i’m wrong, but wasn’t spiderman a student when he got bitten?! now, he was younger (a proper teenager), but it ain’t my fault he was a whiz kid… so, checked!

well, bloodytastic!

Filed under: Anglijskij, Peace of mind, in a bubble, notes to a future self   |  2 Comments
Tags: puberty, social awkwardness, spiderman