no real useless talents

20Feb08

dud, listen, listen, dud, dud this is all i could come up with after giving it some long thought:

useless talent no. 15: i can write pretty cursive without looking at the paper.

useless talent no. 29: i can bend my fingers more than the average bending although not freakishly bent enough to join the carnies.

useless talent no. 56: i can still go to school after falling knee-deep in a puddle of mud just 3min before (after all, what is there to lose other than some dignity, which we all know is a bunch of quack)

~~useless talent no. 18: i can “sign out” while in an awfully boring discussion and be on the green green grass at a punk fest enjoying my cold cheap beer and the blond rasta in front of me.~~ actually this one’s pretty useful

useless talent no. 43: i can hold a spoon perfectly vertical on my nose for some unimpressive milliseconds.

useless talent no. 23: i speak flower (now prove me wrong!)

useless used-to-have-thank-some-higher-authority-for-not-having-it-anymore gross-out talent no. 67: i can poke cow manure with a stick and then hmm… try out the bouquet

useless talent no. 27: i can be really understanding.

useless talent no. 73: i can do this card magic trick. really really kewl. my 5 year old cousin didn’t get it the first time, but then again… he has ADD

useless talent no. 16: i am the bloody universal BFF. yep, this is the Houdini kinda one. it strikes even me sometimes. always in the damn friend zone.

that’s it, i guess. if i find or develop more you’ll get some updates